Thursday, May 7, 2009

-[Untitled]-

Who would have worn a pair of slippers to office instead of the proper pair of office heels? Almost eighteen years ago, she mistook a plush cushion as her school bag. She was happily hugging it, dozing off and drooling on her way to school until it was too late. The things you expect with parents who have too many children to handle at once.. She ended up sitting in class, scratching her butt with nothing on her desk, and declared learning by the power of listening.


Eighteen years later, she was happily trotting her way to office in sandals until she feels an uncomfortable sense of comfort. She looked down at her toes looking back at her, and stopped frozen on the spot. She wiggled her toes, then wrinkled her nose and declared today as casual Thursday. How hard is it to become a walking fashion disaster for once? O well..


*********


They broke up and patched up and broke up on such a regular basis she lost count of the exact times they actually did it. She was hoping they would remain friends thereafter but abandoned that hope shortly after discovering his constant immaturity and lack of attention (read: caring) thereof.


*********


Rosamund confessed to all how she used her underwear as a loofah in the shower.. And performed a stage demo in their honour. Nothing made her laugh even harder than this after a stressful week at work.


Simple things in life can make us laugh and cry, and from thereon the memory carries on.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

WALL - E moment

"Would it be painful when I hit the ground?"

I was sitting on a set of stairs by the roadside like a vagrant - only without a beer or a ciggie. A long and tiring day... As I was lazily indulging myself in that little pleasure of eating ice-cream, I looked up at the high-rise buildings surrounding me, and that dark thought of ending my life intruded.

Nah. I'm a coward... Just a random split-second thought and I really do not want others having to clean after my mess.

Somehow, loneliness has crept into my life once again. The peaceful solitude I always enjoyed now no longer seem exciting. Holding up both hands, I almost looked away in shame. How they yearn to be held, and how I yearn to be held too... Just like how Wall-E felt when he was watching the dreadful romantic movie on TV..

T_T

Friday, August 8, 2008

不爱

他不爱我: 莫文蔚

我知道他不爱我
他的眼神 说出他的心
我看透了他的心
还有别人逗留的背影
他的回忆清除得不够乾净
我看到了他的心
演的全是他和她的电影
他不爱我
尽管如此
他还是赢走了我的心


不是真的爱我: 孙燕姿

你和我就算了吗
别用沉默代替回答
陌生得让我害怕
心像被针扎了一下
总是不提那句话
我想你是故意装傻
不是不懂得表达
还在等什么说清楚吧
我想你不是真的爱我
习惯被忽略不算自由
相爱的人总是不懂
为什么真心伤得特别重
我想你不是真的爱我
当体贴渐渐受到冷落
其实爱有很多选择
我也可以给你自由
终于明白那句话
爱能让人一夜长大
不成熟的感情啊
让我变得小心害怕
我和你就算了吧
不想再为爱而挣扎
爱情若没有火花
至少了解后懂得放下

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Starting a Relationship, and being IN one...

If you begin a relationship from scratch - and in the worst case scenario...long distance - you have to remember that it is your choice. It is like an agreement that you made with the other party. The terms? Not to use the absence of the other party as an excuse to throw tantrums and break-up because you cannot stand the loneliness. It is not all about you and your feelings.

Not many will understand this painful circumstances. Not even most couples who are in a long-distance relationship because they were physically there for each other in the first place. It is different when you have never touch him/her, kiss or hug him/her... The loneliness is far greater than anyone can imagine...

What defines being IN a relationship? Having held hands before, kissed each other before, or fought so hardly then fall back into each other's arms?

A dear old friend, Ah Mui, kindly explained to me: (in her original words) "Physical touch is not a relationship if the heart isn't there...No feelings etc ISN'T a relationship...You can hold hands with anyone, trying to make them your boyfriend but that is not a relationship...In my opinion, it's a feeling between 2 person...TRUE FEELINGS! A feeling that can never die even if you try killing it...Now THAT is a relationship."

I am in a relationship after all... =) Yes, I doubted that before and was even embarrassed when someone asks if I have a boyfriend. Not many people understand and I do not blame them. In every relationship, what happens between them is only known between them. The outside world can say anything but as long as the ones in love stay true to each other, nothing can break them apart.

Thank you Ah Mui. And you have not changed one bit when you suddenly requested his DOB to check our horoscope compatibility...

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Do I still...

I have always asked for love to come my way… It finally did come but somehow it felt like a punishment.

For the very first time I am in love. Hearts fluttered and I walked on soft cotton candy for the first few days until reality struck me back down to the hard ground. A relationship through long distance is no place for a first timer like me. And yet being the usual reckless and stubborn ox I am, I barged right through any warning signs...

There was no shoulder to lean on when tiredness creeped up. No hands to keep mine warm when winter blew its cold greetings. No one there to hold me tight when everything seemed not right. What does it feel like to be kissed on the lips or to be held tight? Or to hold hands without letting go even when they start getting sweaty? I really want to know...

Have you ever felt like having something yet at the same time feeling as though you never have it at all in the first place? I felt that way... I had already lost count of those nights of tear-stained pillow. How I survived this far is still a miracle...

A long time ago, I remembered watching my friends going through break-ups or heartaches. They asked me if I still want to fall in love having witnessed all those messy stuffs. The naive me then held my chin high and declared proudly "Yes, I do!"

And here I am, in love yet feeling lonelier than ever. If a friend asks me again if I still want to fall in love, what would my answer be? What should my answer be?

Saturday, May 10, 2008

When I...

The one thing for sure that will make me cry is when you stand right in front of me. I will not rush you...and I will wait.

But the only time I will ask you to come is when my heart starts to sway...I will wait, but only for as long as my heart is still in one piece.

幸福


发现自己真的喜欢上你了。。想回头也太迟了。我却微笑着。